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Separation, Divorce
Counselling
When a marriage is over or when a couple separate, many questions
need to be settled.
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Who will pay the
bills?
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Who will stay in the
family home?
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How will everything be
divided?
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What about the bank
accounts?
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Will one spouse
continue to support the other after the marriage is over? If so, for how
long?
Family Mediation
If their are children,
then there are questions about their care. With whom will they
live?
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Who will make the
day-to-day decisions about their lives?
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When can the other
parent spend time with them?
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How much money will
each parent pay to support them?
What is
Family Mediation?
Mediation is a way for you
and your spouse to settle these questions together. In mediation,
you meet in face-to-face discussions with your spouse. With the
assistance of a neutral mediator, you each state your point of
view. The mediator then helps you clarify the issues and negotiate
to reach a mutually acceptable agreement.
Mediation is not the only way of settling the questions that arise
when a couple separates. Traditionally, agreements have been
worked out by lawyers. In this case, your lawyer and your spouse�s
lawyer negotiate on behalf to try to arrive at an agreement that
is acceptable to both of you. Most agreements are still reached
this way.
If no settlement can be reached through negotiations, your divorce
becomes a contested case. When this happens, your case goes to
trial. After listening to both sides, a judge will decide on the
terms of your divorce.
Mediation is different from these ways of reaching an agreement.
In mediation you and your spouse work out the details of an
agreement for yourselves.
Mediation is not marriage counselling
or therapy (for marriage or couples
counselling click here). Counselling and therapy help you to find a way
to make your marriage work again or to accept that it is over.
Mediation, on the other hand, focuses more on achieving a
practical separation agreement than it does on resolving emotional problems. While
mediators must always be sensitive to their clients� feelings and
to the possibility of reconciliation, the primary aim of mediation
is not to bring you back together again, but to help you to
negotiate a workable way of living apart.
Making Mediation Work
For You
Think about what issues are most important for you and for your
children and what should be discussed in mediation.
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Gather information on what you might be
discussing in mediation. Make lists of your income, your debts, your
financial responsibilities, your personal expenses, and your family assets.
Think of practical matters that need to be sorted out. This will all be
useful information during mediation.
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Think about the needs of your children that
are different from yours. For example, while you may need to separate from
your spouse, your children will probably need an ongoing relationship with
both of you.
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Be prepared to listen and to compromise. Be
ready to accept other ways of reaching your goals.
During Mediation
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Don�t feel pressured to rush into an
agreement or to commit yourself to an agreement until you are certain that
you can live with it. You may want to try living with an agreement for a
while before making it final.
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Talk to other professionals, like social
workers, bank managers, accountants or insurance agents, if you feel you
need more information on some particular point being discussed.
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You will want to have your agreement
reviewed by your lawyer before you sign it.
We can help, please contact us to setup your
appointment. |